SAMPLE LYRICS & DIALOGUE    

 

 

            Prelude

         

                       [Song:  Song of the Suitor]  

 

                            Antoine

                        I WILL HASTEN BEFORE THE STEPS OF THE DAY

                        TO THE MOUNTAINTOP TO SEEK OUT MY LONELY DOVE

                        MY LOVE HAS THE EYES OF AN ERMINE

                        AND THE FLOWING HAIR OF A FIELD OF RICE

                        HER MOUTH IS A PINK SHELL, SET WITH PEARLS

 
                         Camille

                       WILL HE SEEK OUT HIS LONELY DOVE

                       AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST

                       HE HAS HUNG ABOUT ME A NECKLACE OF SHELLS

                      Both

                       THERE ARE THREE RED BEADS FOR MY LOVE

                       THREE PURPLE ONES FOR MY FEARS

                       THREE BLUE ONES FOR MY HOPES

        
                        Antoine

                       MAY MY LOVE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH

                       AND SAY SHE IS MINE!

​

                     Camille

                       WILL MY TRUE LOVE FIND ME HERE

                       AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST?

​

                      Antoine

                       WILL SHE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH

                       AND SAY SHE LOVES ME?

                     Both

                       THEN THE HOPES OF A NATION

                       WILL LIE AT OUT FEET

                     Antoine

                       AND I WILL SMOKE MY PIPE OF PEACE

                    Both

                       BY THE CRADLE OF OUR CHILD!

 

                    (Lights fade.  The orchestra begins playing the overture)

 

 

 

         Act One

                     Scene One

 

                      [song:  Diamonds from Top to Toe]

 

                    Master Blazius

                               LET THOSE WHO WISH TO LEARN SOME NEWS

                               FIRST BRING ME A GLASS OF WINE

                               ANTOINE TURNED TWENTY-ONE TODAY

                               A BETTER MAN YOU’LL NEVER FIND!

 

                               MY STUDENT’S FULL OF FLOWERY PHRASES

                               TRAVELED TO SO MANY PLACES

                               HALF THE TIME YOU DON’T KNOW

                               HOW TO ANSWER HIM!

 

                      Dame Pluche

                               BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER, RABBLE…

                               WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?

                               KNOW TODAY YOUR MASTER’S NIECE

                               ARRIVES AT THE CHATEAU

 

                               SHE’S FINISHED WITH HER EDUCATION

                               IT’S A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION

                               NEVER HAVE YOU SEEN SUCH PURITY

 
                           Master Blazius & Dame Pluche

                               HE’S / SHE’S A DIAMOND

                               FROM TOP TO TOE

                               THAT IS WHAT I LONG TO SHOW

                               IT’S TO MY CREDIT

                               I’M HIS / HER GUARDIAN

 

                             Dame Pluche

                               HER PURITY AND GOODNESS

                               WOULD PUT A MONK TO SHAME

 

                           Master Blazius

                               HE CAN’T SEE A BLADE OF GRASS

                               WITHOUT GIVING YOU THE LATIN NAME!

 

                           Dame Pluche

                               HER BEAUTY MAKES THE ANGELS SIGH

   

                         Master Blazius

                               WHEN IT RAINS, HE’LL TELL YOU WHY

              

(Lights up on Antoine and Camille)

 

                          Antoine and Camille

                               IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHO HAS IT BETTER

                               YOU….OR I!

 

                               WE ARE DIAMONDS

                               FROM HEAD TO TOE

                               THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

                               THAT THEY DESERVE OUR PRAISE

                               WE’RE THEIR PROTEGES!

                                

              Blazius & Pluche                                                Antoine & Camille

THEY ARE  DIAMONDS                                WE ARE DIAMONDS

FROM HEAD TO TOE                                      FROM HEAD TO TOE

THAT IS WHAT                                                THAT IS WHAT 

EVERYONE WILL KNOW                              EVERYONE WILL KNOW

WE’LL TAKE CREDIT                                    THEY’LL TAKE CREDIT

WE’RE THEIR GUARDIANS                          THEY’RE OUR GUARDIANS

 

The Baron

Father Bridaine, let me introduce Master Blazius, my son's tutor.  My son yesterday,  at eight minutes past twelve noon, turned twenty-one years old. He has earned his degree, and passed in three subjects. Master Blazius, I introduce to you Father Bridaine, parish priest, and my dearest friend.

 

Blazius

Passed in four subjects, your lordship:  literature, philosophy, law and physiognomy.

 

Baron

Yes, all right, all right…..go to your room, my dear Blazius; my son will be here soon.  Freshen up a bit, and return when the bell rings.

                                              (Blazius exits)

 

Bridaine

Shall I tell you what I am thinking, my lord? Your son's tutor smells strongly of wine.

 

Baron

What?  Impossible !

 

Bridaine

I am as sure as I breathe. He spoke to me very closely just now. He smells dreadfully of wine.

 

Baron

No more of this. I tell you, it is impossible.                      

                                              (Dame Pluche enters)

There you are, good Dame Pluche!  My niece is with you, no doubt ?

 

Dame Pluche

She is following me, my lord. I preceded her by a few steps.

 

Baron

Father Bridaine,  my friend. I present to you Dame Pluche, my niece's governess.  My niece, yesterday at seven o'clock p.m., turned  eighteen years of age. She is leaving the best convent in France.  Dame Pluche, I present to you Father Bridaine, priest of the parish, and my friend.

 

Dame Pluche

The best convent in France, my lord and, I may add, the most sanctimonious girl in the convent.

 

Baron

Yes, yes, very good.  Run along, Dame Pluche, and get yourself together. My niece will be here shortly, I do hope.   Be ready when the dinner bell rings.

                                              (Exit Dame Pluche)

 

Bridaine

That old lady seems rather……pompous, doesn’t she?

 

Baron

Pompous, perhaps, but…her virtue is beyond reproach.

 

Bridaine

But the tutor smells of wine. I am absolutely certain of it.

 

Baron

Father Bridaine, there are moments when I doubt your friendship. Are you trying to contradict me?  Do not speak of that matter.   Now then, I have been considering the idea of marrying my son to my niece. They are a match made in heaven. Their education has cost me six thousand crowns.

                                                              

Bridaine

Will the wedding ceremony take place here or in Paris?

 

Baron

That is just what I expected, Bridaine!  I was absolutely certain you would ask that question! Well, then, my friend — what would you say if those very hands — yes, Bridaine, your own hands — don't look at them so disparagingly — were destined to bless the happy realization of my dearest dreams? Eh?

 

Bridaine

 I am silent; gratitude seals my lips!

 

Baron

Look out of this window.  Do you see my servants crowding to the gate?  My two children are

arriving at the same moment!  It is the happiest combination! I have arranged things in such a way that all is foreseen; my niece will be introduced by this door on the left, my son by the door on the right.  What do you say to that?  It will be the greatest delight to me to see how they will

address one another, and what they will say. The children loved each other since the day they were born.

                                              (beat)

Say, I have an idea!

 

Bridaine

 What is it, my Lord?

 

Baron

During dinner, without it seeming…planned — do you understand, my friend ? — while toasting a glass of wine — uh…do you know Latin, Bridaine ?

 

Bridaine

I should hope so!   

                                              (Grandly)

In vino, veritas!

 

Baron

                                              (Confused)

No, no, no……Latin, Bridane! 

                                              (Bridaine stares blankly)

Oh, never mind, never mind.  I would be very happy to see you test my son, discreetly of course — in front of his cousin—that cannot fail to make a favorable and lasting impression!  Ask him to speak a little Latin; not precisely while we’re eating…that would spoil our appetites, and as for me, I don't understand a word of it, but after dessert, don’t you see?

 

Bridaine

If you don't understand a word of it, my lord, perhaps your niece suffers from the same affliction!

 

Baron

All the more reason. Would you have a woman admire what she understands? Were you born in a barn, Bridaine? That is a pathetically impalpable piece of reasoning.

 

Bridaine

 I don't know much about women; but it seems to me difficult to admire what one does not understand.

 

Baron

Ah, Bridaine, but I know them; I know the charming, indefinable creatures!

 

                              [SONG:  Charming Indefinable Creatures]

 

               WHEN SHE SAYS IT’S TIME TO TALK

               THAT’S WHEN YOU TAKE A WALK

               PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE TOWN!

               IF YOU STAY

               YOU’RE GONNA PAY!

               YOUR HEAD’LL BE REELING

               SHE’LL ONLY WANT YOU BOTH TO GET

               IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS

 

               THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK

               IS WHEN SHE ASKS YOU HOW SHE LOOKS

               SHE NEVER WANTS AN HONEST REPLY!

 

        Bridaine

               IT’S A STICKY SITUATION

​

       Blazius

               SHE JUST WANTS YOUR ADULATION

 

           Baron and Bridaine

               ALL YOU CAN EVER DO IS LIE

               THESE CHARMING INDEFINABLE CREATURES!

               WITH SUCH ENTICING FEATURES

               TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!

                              

          Baron

               WHEN SHE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING WRONG

               YOU KNOW NOTHIN’S RIGHT!

               TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE

               YOU’D BE UP ALL NIGHT!

               INSTEAD OF TELLIN’ YOU

               SHE’LL YELL AT YOU

               FOR NOT BEING SMARTER

 

            Father Bridaine

               SHE WON’T SOLVE  THE PROBLEM,

               SHE’D PREFER TO BE A MARTYR

              

             Baron and Bridaine

               THESE CHARMING INDEFINABLE CREATURES!

               WITH SUCH DELECTABLE FEATURES

               TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!

 

               AND YET WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE

               WHAT AM I….WITHOUT ONE!?

              

                (Enter on one side Antoine, Camille on the other)

Ah!  Good day, children!  Good day, my dear Camille, and you, my dear Antoine! Kiss me and kiss each other.

 

Antoine

Good day, father, and you, my darling sister. How delightful; how happy I am !

 

Camille

How do you do, father…and you, cousin?

 

Antoine

How tall you are, Camille, and as beautiful as the day!

 

Baron

When did you leave Paris, Antoine ?

 

Antoine

Wednesday, I think — or Tuesday. Why, you are transformed into a woman! So I am a man, am I?  It seems only yesterday I saw you only so high!

 

Baron

You must both be tired.  It has been a long journey, and the day is hot.

 

Antoine

Oh, no, not at all! Look how pretty Camille is, father.

 

Baron

Come, Camille, give your cousin a kiss.

 

Camille

I beg your pardon?

 

Baron

A compliment deserves a kiss.  Give her a kiss, my boy!

 

Antoine

Lovers may kiss one another….friends rarely do so.

 

Camille

Neither friends nor lovers should accept anything they cannot repay.

 

Baron

             (To Father Bridaine)

This doesn’t seem to be a good omen, does it?

 

Father Bridaine
(To the Baron)

Too much modesty is a defect, no doubt ; but marriage has a way of bringing couples out of their shells.

 

Baron

       (To Master Bridaine)

I am shocked — I am hurt! That answer displeased me. Pardon me ! Did you see that she made a show of crossing herself ?  Come here, and let me speak to you.  It pains me to no end. This moment, that was to be so sweet, is completely spoiled for me. I am annoyed… distraught.   Everything is going to Hell!

 

Father Bridaine

Talk to them; look at them turning their backs on each other.

 

Baron

Well, children, what in the world are you thinking of?  What are you doing there, Camille, in front of that tapestry?

 

Camille

       (Looking at a picture)

That is a fine portrait, uncle. Isn’t she my great grandmother?

 

Baron

Yes, my child, or, at least, your great grandmother’s sister;  since the charming lady never contributed — except, I believe, in prayers — to the enhancement of the family.  She was a religious woman, I declare.

 

Camille

Oh yes, a saint. She is my great aunt Isabel.  How becoming she looks in that nun's dress!

 

Baron

And you, Antoine, what are you doing behind that flower pot?

 

Antoine

That's a charming flower, father. It is called a heliotrope.

 

Baron

Are you joking? Such a fancy name for such an insignificant flower!  It is no bigger than a fly.

 

Antoine

That little flower no bigger than a fly is worth having all the same.

 

Father Bridaine

No doubt our young scholar is right. Ask him what species it belongs to, or how it gets its color, he will entrance you with a description of said plant, from its roots to the tips of its leaves.

 

Antoine

I…don't know so much about it, Your Reverence.  I just think it smells good, that’s all.

 

Baron

Venerable Dame Pluche, I am pained.

 

Dame Pluche

Is it ……possible, my lord ?

 

Baron

Yes, Dame Pluche,  possible.  I had planned it for a long time now — I had even put everything down in my journal— that this day was to be the most enjoyable of my life. Yes, my good madam, the most enjoyable. You know how I planned to marry my son to my niece. It was decided, arranged — I had even asked Father Bridaine to perform the ceremony, here in this very room — and I see, that these children speak to each other coldly;  they have not said a word.

 

Dame Pluche

There they come, my lord. Do they know of your scheme?

 

Baron

I dropped a few hints to each of them in private. I think it would be well, since they are thrown together now, that we should sit down under this welcome shade and leave them to themselves for a moment, while we listen in, of course.

(He withdraws to one side with Dame Pluche. Enter Camille and Antoine)

 

               [song:  Games We Used to Play]

 

      Antoine

          IT’S NOT NICE TO REFUSE A KISS

 

            Camille

                I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS