click on me! See what happens!
Liz Colandene (Dame Pluche) records a song for
"No Trifling With Love"
electric & classical guitar........Paul Bell
bass guitar.............................Johnny Castle
piano.............................. Steven W Rodgers
cello.......................................... Erin Snedecor
drums .. Andy Hamburger & Jeff Wolf
saxophone................... Young Devereaux
No Trifling with Love
No Trifling With Love
A New Musical by Steven W Rodgers
A tragic-comedy in two acts
Based on the play On Ne Badine Pas Avec L'amour
by Alfred de Musset
additional lyrics by Wendy Christopher
& Francois-Rene de Chateaubriand
Music & Lyrics by Steven W Rodgers
Composer Steven W Rodgers conducts string players (including Erin Snedecor on cello) for the song "Tonight You'll Hear Me.," (above)
...and plays piano on the song
"If Love's Flown Away" (below)
Cast of characters
The Baron, 60s, the befuddled lord of the manor
Antoine, 21, his son
Camille, 18, the Baron's niece
Father Bridaine, 50s, the Parish priest
Master Blazius, 30s, Antoine's tutor
Dame Pluche, 40s, Camille’s governess
Rosette, 16, Camille’s sister
SAMPLE LYRICS & DIALOGUE
[Song: Song of the Suitor]
I WILL HASTEN BEFORE THE STEPS OF THE DAY
TO THE MOUNTAINTOP TO SEEK OUT MY LONELY DOVE
MY LOVE HAS THE EYES OF AN ERMINE
AND THE FLOWING HAIR OF A FIELD OF RICE
HER MOUTH IS A PINK SHELL, SET WITH PEARLS
WILL HE SEEK OUT HIS LONELY DOVE
AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST
HE HAS HUNG ABOUT ME A NECKLACE OF SHELLS
THERE ARE THREE RED BEADS FOR MY LOVE
THREE PURPLE ONES FOR MY FEARS
THREE BLUE ONES FOR MY HOPES
MAY MY LOVE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH
AND SAY SHE IS MINE!
WILL MY TRUE LOVE FIND ME HERE
AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST?
WILL SHE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH
AND SAY SHE LOVES ME?
THEN THE HOPES OF A NATION
WILL LIE AT OUT FEET
AND I WILL SMOKE MY PIPE OF PEACE
BY THE CRADLE OF OUR CHILD!
(Lights fade. The orchestra begins playing the overture)
[song: Diamonds from Top to Toe]
LET THOSE WHO WISH TO LEARN SOME NEWS
FIRST BRING ME A GLASS OF WINE
ANTOINE TURNED TWENTY-ONE TODAY
A BETTER MAN YOU’LL NEVER FIND!
MY STUDENT’S FULL OF FLOWERY PHRASES
TRAVELED TO SO MANY PLACES
HALF THE TIME YOU DON’T KNOW
HOW TO ANSWER HIM!
BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER, RABBLE…
WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?
KNOW TODAY YOUR MASTER’S NIECE
ARRIVES AT THE CHATEAU
SHE’S FINISHED WITH HER EDUCATION
IT’S A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION
NEVER HAVE YOU SEEN SUCH PURITY
Master Blazius & Dame Pluche
HE’S / SHE’S A DIAMOND
FROM TOP TO TOE
THAT IS WHAT I LONG TO SHOW
IT’S TO MY CREDIT
I’M HIS / HER GUARDIAN
HER PURITY AND GOODNESS
WOULD PUT A MONK TO SHAME
HE CAN’T SEE A BLADE OF GRASS
WITHOUT GIVING YOU THE LATIN NAME!
HER BEAUTY MAKES THE ANGELS SIGH
WHEN IT RAINS, HE’LL TELL YOU WHY
(Lights up on Antoine and Camille)
Antoine and Camille
IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHO HAS IT BETTER
WE ARE DIAMONDS
FROM HEAD TO TOE
THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW
THAT THEY DESERVE OUR PRAISE
WE’RE THEIR PROTEGES!
Blazius & Pluche Antoine & Camille
THEY ARE DIAMONDS WE ARE DIAMONDS
FROM HEAD TO TOE FROM HEAD TO TOE
THAT IS WHAT THAT IS WHAT
EVERYONE WILL KNOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW
WE’LL TAKE CREDIT THEY’LL TAKE CREDIT
WE’RE THEIR GUARDIANS THEY’RE OUR GUARDIANS
Father Bridaine, let me introduce Master Blazius, my son's tutor. My son yesterday, at eight minutes past twelve noon, turned twenty-one years old. He has earned his degree, and passed in three subjects. Master Blazius, I introduce to you Father Bridaine, parish priest, and my dearest friend.
Passed in four subjects, your lordship: literature, philosophy, law and physiognomy.
Yes, all right, all right…..go to your room, my dear Blazius; my son will be here soon. Freshen up a bit, and return when the bell rings.
Shall I tell you what I am thinking, my lord? Your son's tutor smells strongly of wine.
What? Impossible !
I am as sure as I breathe. He spoke to me very closely just now. He smells dreadfully of wine.
No more of this. I tell you, it is impossible.
(Dame Pluche enters)
There you are, good Dame Pluche! My niece is with you, no doubt ?
She is following me, my lord. I preceded her by a few steps.
Father Bridaine, my friend. I present to you Dame Pluche, my niece's governess. My niece, yesterday at seven o'clock p.m., turned eighteen years of age. She is leaving the best convent in France. Dame Pluche, I present to you Father Bridaine, priest of the parish, and my friend.
The best convent in France, my lord and, I may add, the most sanctimonious girl in the convent.
Yes, yes, very good. Run along, Dame Pluche, and get yourself together. My niece will be here shortly, I do hope. Be ready when the dinner bell rings.
(Exit Dame Pluche)
That old lady seems rather……pompous, doesn’t she?
Pompous, perhaps, but…her virtue is beyond reproach.
But the tutor smells of wine. I am absolutely certain of it.
Father Bridaine, there are moments when I doubt your friendship. Are you trying to contradict me? Do not speak of that matter. Now then, I have been considering the idea of marrying my son to my niece. They are a match made in heaven. Their education has cost me six thousand crowns.
Will the wedding ceremony take place here or in Paris?
That is just what I expected, Bridaine! I was absolutely certain you would ask that question! Well, then, my friend — what would you say if those very hands — yes, Bridaine, your own hands — don't look at them so disparagingly — were destined to bless the happy realization of my dearest dreams? Eh?
I am silent; gratitude seals my lips!
Look out of this window. Do you see my servants crowding to the gate? My two children are
arriving at the same moment! It is the happiest combination! I have arranged things in such a way that all is foreseen; my niece will be introduced by this door on the left, my son by the door on the right. What do you say to that? It will be the greatest delight to me to see how they will
address one another, and what they will say. The children loved each other since the day they were born.
Say, I have an idea!
What is it, my Lord?
During dinner, without it seeming…planned — do you understand, my friend ? — while toasting a glass of wine — uh…do you know Latin, Bridaine ?
I should hope so!
In vino, veritas!
No, no, no……Latin, Bridane!
(Bridaine stares blankly)
Oh, never mind, never mind. I would be very happy to see you test my son, discreetly of course — in front of his cousin—that cannot fail to make a favorable and lasting impression! Ask him to speak a little Latin; not precisely while we’re eating…that would spoil our appetites, and as for me, I don't understand a word of it, but after dessert, don’t you see?
If you don't understand a word of it, my lord, perhaps your niece suffers from the same affliction!
All the more reason. Would you have a woman admire what she understands? Were you born in a barn, Bridaine? That is a pathetically impalpable piece of reasoning.
I don't know much about women; but it seems to me difficult to admire what one does not understand.
Ah, Bridaine, but I know them; I know the charming, indefinable creatures!
[SONG: Charming Indefinable Creatures]
WHEN SHE SAYS IT’S TIME TO TALK
THAT’S WHEN YOU TAKE A WALK
PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE TOWN!
IF YOU STAY
YOU’RE GONNA PAY!
YOUR HEAD’LL BE REELING
SHE’LL ONLY WANT YOU BOTH TO GET
IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS
THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK
IS WHEN SHE ASKS YOU HOW SHE LOOKS
SHE NEVER WANTS AN HONEST REPLY!
IT’S A STICKY SITUATION
SHE JUST WANTS YOUR ADULATION
Baron and Bridaine
ALL YOU CAN EVER DO IS LIE
THESE CHARMING INDEFINABLE CREATURES!
WITH SUCH ENTICING FEATURES
TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!
WHEN SHE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING WRONG
YOU KNOW NOTHIN’S RIGHT!
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE
YOU’D BE UP ALL NIGHT!
INSTEAD OF TELLIN’ YOU
SHE’LL YELL AT YOU
FOR NOT BEING SMARTER
SHE WON’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM,
SHE’D PREFER TO BE A MARTYR
Baron and Bridaine
THESE CHARMING INDEFINABLE CREATURES!
WITH SUCH DELECTABLE FEATURES
TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!
AND YET WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE
WHAT AM I….WITHOUT ONE!?
(Enter on one side Antoine, Camille on the other)
Ah! Good day, children! Good day, my dear Camille, and you, my dear Antoine! Kiss me and kiss each other.
Good day, father, and you, my darling sister. How delightful; how happy I am !
How do you do, father…and you, cousin?
How tall you are, Camille, and as beautiful as the day!
When did you leave Paris, Antoine ?
Wednesday, I think — or Tuesday. Why, you are transformed into a woman! So I am a man, am I? It seems only yesterday I saw you only so high!
You must both be tired. It has been a long journey, and the day is hot.
Oh, no, not at all! Look how pretty Camille is, father.
Come, Camille, give your cousin a kiss.
I beg your pardon?
A compliment deserves a kiss. Give her a kiss, my boy!
Lovers may kiss one another….friends rarely do so.
Neither friends nor lovers should accept anything they cannot repay.
(To Father Bridaine)
This doesn’t seem to be a good omen, does it?
(To the Baron)
Too much modesty is a defect, no doubt ; but marriage has a way of bringing couples out of their shells.
(To Master Bridaine)
I am shocked — I am hurt! That answer displeased me. Pardon me ! Did you see that she made a show of crossing herself ? Come here, and let me speak to you. It pains me to no end. This moment, that was to be so sweet, is completely spoiled for me. I am annoyed… distraught. Everything is going to Hell!
Talk to them; look at them turning their backs on each other.
Well, children, what in the world are you thinking of? What are you doing there, Camille, in front of that tapestry?
(Looking at a picture)
That is a fine portrait, uncle. Isn’t she my great grandmother?
Yes, my child, or, at least, your great grandmother’s sister; since the charming lady never contributed — except, I believe, in prayers — to the enhancement of the family. She was a religious woman, I declare.
Oh yes, a saint. She is my great aunt Isabel. How becoming she looks in that nun's dress!
And you, Antoine, what are you doing behind that flower pot?
That's a charming flower, father. It is called a heliotrope.
Are you joking? Such a fancy name for such an insignificant flower! It is no bigger than a fly.
That little flower no bigger than a fly is worth having all the same.
No doubt our young scholar is right. Ask him what species it belongs to, or how it gets its color, he will entrance you with a description of said plant, from its roots to the tips of its leaves.
I…don't know so much about it, Your Reverence. I just think it smells good, that’s all.
Venerable Dame Pluche, I am pained.
Is it ……possible, my lord ?
Yes, Dame Pluche, possible. I had planned it for a long time now — I had even put everything down in my journal— that this day was to be the most enjoyable of my life. Yes, my good madam, the most enjoyable. You know how I planned to marry my son to my niece. It was decided, arranged — I had even asked Father Bridaine to perform the ceremony, here in this very room — and I see, that these children speak to each other coldly; they have not said a word.
There they come, my lord. Do they know of your scheme?
I dropped a few hints to each of them in private. I think it would be well, since they are thrown together now, that we should sit down under this welcome shade and leave them to themselves for a moment, while we listen in, of course.
(He withdraws to one side with Dame Pluche. Enter Camille and Antoine)
[song: Games We Used to Play]
IT’S NOT NICE TO REFUSE A KISS
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS